Thursday, June 24, 2010

Oh dear

I've been away, it seems.  For longer than I thought I would be.  I thought about writing. I really did.  There were just too many long hours at my old job and now--so many hours at my new job--that everything has fallen by the way.  The writing, the garden, the fiddle, the cooking, the canning, the cleaning, the photography--even just being a present partner to Awesome Husband.  I'm not sure how soon this will change as the new job is still only 3 weeks new.

But, I like it. I really do.  The first 2 weeks were stone-cold panic.  My PI is in-service for almost 2 months, leaving me pretty much alone.  This week has been a fair bit bettter as I'm figuring out my resources.  My days are now busy enough that time flies by.  I'm putting my clinical skills into practice.  I'm working with lovely, brilliant people who are at the cutting-edge of my field. I've met the most amazing people and they seem to accept me as a peer immediately.  I get emotional fed by working with patients again.   I have time to attend grand rounds again and make a point to see at least one additional lecture a week.

 While it took me a long time to actually make the jump (due to all sorts of past baggage with jobs), I think I've landed in the right place with the right people.  I hate to be all glowy about things as I'm still in the honeymoon stage--and lord knows I love the honeymoon stage.   I just think that this might be exactly what I've been looking for for awhile now.  All those years in epidemeology and really? Really, I needed to work in clinical research. 

In the garden?  Well, it's a hot mess.  Will there ever be a day that I can call my little patch of dirt something other than a "hot mess"?  Due to working so much, I did end up just tossing all my well thought plans out the window and just "put the frackin seeds in the frackin' ground and see what happens" method of gardening. 

This method does not include entering into the computer what I have done, writing down what I have done, or even putting markers in the garden of what I planted.  Nope.  I have no god durn idea what the hell is where in there if it doesn't look recognizable.

I'm trying to take a zen approach to all of this.  If you know me, you know that I get paralyzed with analysis.  I need data, charts, reports.  I may not make a move until I have looked at every possible angle, thought about it, researched it, scribbled it down, thought about it some more, got more information...and on and on and on until nothing is done at all.  The "shit-it's-mid-June-and-half-the-dirt-isn't-planted-let's-get-whatever-seeds-in-there-I-can" approach is about the last thing I would ever do.

Half my dirt is still unplanted, of course.  But whatever.  I totally screwed it up and ignored it and so I'm just going to see what is going to grow right now and be happy with what I eat.

In good news, I've been eating a ton of lettuce and radishes.  The peas are going crazy.  I got a number of turnips that are ready to be plucked.  I actually got at least a dozen parsnips growing (go me!).  I realize that I haven't been growing carrots because I kept plucking up the shoots thinking they were weeds (oops). 

The potatoes grew a lot faster than I was expecting.  I think I might get a pretty crappy crop.  They were so small for so long and then I feel like I couldn't put dirt in fast enough in their pots.   I'm telling myself that if I can get 5 lbs per bag, then I'm successful. I'd prefer 10 lbs, but I don't think I'll hold my breath.

The tomatoes aren't the happies. I finally put them out 2 weeks ago.  I guess we'll see.  The peppers, eggplant, melons, and cucumbers are still inside.  I'm really hoping they can go out after July.  Zucchini are out.  We'll see on that as well.   

July is near.  I need to start things inside for fallI (assuming I can grow anything).   It's very difficult to think about planting for fall right now when I have nothing that looks like summer yet.

In other news, I put up some more photos of China (finally).  I'm trying to tell myself just to get 10 photos done a week and I'll be done soon enough.  It's been  1.5 years since we've been.  I'd really like to pick up my camera again soon. :(  I miss it.  Not enough time with too many days
Everything else is swimming.  Awesome Husband and I have been down all week with some horrible virus.  I'm deaf in my right ear due to it.  Besides work, it's been rather boring around these parts. 

I'm hoping once we are back to normal and once work calms down, we make an agreement to get more creative.  He's got writing to do.  I've got long-lost photography projects.  We have shared projects that we've talked about both in writing and photography. 

It's time for the next phase of our life and to join super powers creatively.

This is written on my new laptop and not edited yet.  There may be crap all over the place as my hand keep hitting the wrong buttons.  Deal.

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"Every morning I awake torn between a desire to save the world and an inclination to savor it. This makes it hard to plan the day."

-E.B. White

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