Monday, August 27, 2012

Why I do this

There is always a moment.  Every time I visit.

Sometimes it is just a moment where I can feel the present moment stretching out for an eternity in front of me and an eternity behind me, and I'm just right here sitting with someone in the middle of it.  It has always been like this.  It will always be like this. Here we are.   It lasts an eternity. It lasts mere seconds.  It snaps away as quickly and mysteriously as it arrives.  But oh, that moment.

Sometimes a word is said or some small gesture, and my heart breaks open and this emotions fills me and runs through me. How can I love this stranger so impossibly much?  How could I not?  Who knew that you could feel this intensely for another human who is not a part of your "family"?   To experience the fullness of this other human being in whatever state they are in and to stand in awe of the perfectness of their existence.

Four hours a week seems such a small amount of time in the big picture.  But what can happen in those 4 hours is such good work.

It has been 4 weeks. I do not know how many more weeks I have with this family.  Last week it seemed like it could be months.  This week, I left wondering if I would see them again.  This family who was labeled as "challenging!" is so full of ease and is a source of respite for me.

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"Every morning I awake torn between a desire to save the world and an inclination to savor it. This makes it hard to plan the day."

-E.B. White

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