Tuesday, May 1, 2012


Just when I'm getting to the snapping point today of having to bear witness to yet another extremely long, difficult struggle to death--I get the phone call that I've been waiting for that soothes my soul.

The volunteer coordinator at  a local hospice called.

Sounds crazy, doesn't it? I'm at a breaking point of one person's death and thrilled to get the call for me to spend my free time with more death.  Intellectually,  research is the best manna ever.  Emotionally, I feel emaciated and depleted.

 There is a difference between watching and being present. The watching grinds me down.  

Between that and some sage words of wisdom recently given to me, well, it's time to go back.  My life feels like it travels in a spiral.

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"Every morning I awake torn between a desire to save the world and an inclination to savor it. This makes it hard to plan the day."

-E.B. White

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