Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Light? Tunnel? Maybe?

Cross your fingers. I might be over the worst of the 12-hour-a-day, 6-day-a-week work madness.  I'm gunning to get things wrapped up by this Saturday. I might be fooling myself. 

I miss my garden.
I miss cooking.
I miss my family.

I'm feeling pretty worn out and disconnected to just about everything these days. 

It's gotten so bad that Awesome Husband is buying processed food for me to take to work.  I mean, soups that I didn't make, frozen entrees that I didn't create, etc.  Things that I said that I would never eat again.  I'm eating them simply because I'm awake for an hour or so after I get home and the whole idea of going into the kitchen for any reason is abhorrent.  (you know things are bad when I refuse to be in the kitchen).

The man that I married knows me so well that it took him a long, long time to go grocery shopping.  Why?  Because he looked on the back every single box, every frozen meal to make sure that there was nothing except real food in it.  I didn't ask him to.  He just did it on his own.   He also bought me all vegan foods. I didn't ask for that either. He just knew that while I'd eat whatever was put in front of me, if I had the bandwidth--I'd not feel real good about where the meat/dairy came from (Quite honestly, I'm too much of a robot right now to care much about anything)  I was just grateful that he was going to do the food shopping and giving me things to take to work.   I gotta say, to take that much care and concern about some frozen meals for me is just about the sweetest thing anyone has ever done.

In other news, I'm currently reading, "The Value of Nothing".  I don't know whether to recommend it or not. You'll like it or dislike it based on your politcal leanings.  It is a bit disjointed and jumps around too much.
It is also another book that made me cry when I read it and just feel hopeless about how much I am part of the problem.   I had no idea coltan was mined in the Congo.  I'm now feeling extremely uncomfortable with our cell phones and laptops and cameras.  On one hand, there is little to do about it now (except for giving money to charities to help women in the Congo)--but future purchases of electronics are going to have to be researched better and strong discussions about consumers of these types of electronics. 

I can't be part of the problem--especially since ALL of it (even cell phones. Seriously. We lived for decades without them) is not necessity.  Purchasing video games for my entertainment or a laptop so I can go write in a coffeehouse or an i-phone  is being complicit in sexual violence against women.  My dollars give consent. 

It just isn't right.  Andnow that I now,  I can't justify it.


  1. Jo, thanks for posting about this. I had no idea what coltan even was until you mentioned it. I've thought so many times about this issue but so far I've just focused it on the chemicals that are produced to create the plastics in things and the energy that Google alone is burning up. By creating these online communities so that we can learn what we are doing to the planet we are making things worse.

    I'm not sure what the answer is. Should I use the computer less? Certainly I won't be buying a new computer or phone until I need to but the manufacturers make sure that happens quickly nowdays. I wish there was a simple answer.

    Please post if you find a good and honest charity, I'm due to give some blood money to be sure.

  2. I hadn't known what it was either. It's been an eye-opening and upsetting realization.

    I'm not sure what the answer is either. I've been trying to see if there are "conflict free" electronics, but so far--no luck. It seems like even if companies wnated to go "conflict free", they don't have the set up to make that certification.

    For me, I guess I just need to make sure that I'm taking care of my electronics so that I don't have to replace them very often.

    I'll definitely post if I find a good charity. I've found a couple of them, but I really want to make sure that their administrative costs are low so more money is going into directly helping.


"Every morning I awake torn between a desire to save the world and an inclination to savor it. This makes it hard to plan the day."

-E.B. White

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